clerical error

Last week I visited one of my American friends (a fencing/swing dancing colleague) in Brno, the second largest city in the Czech Republic, which was incredible. Nearly as beautiful as Prague, but without the hordes of tourists. Saturday was by far the most fun I’ve had abroad thus far. Admittedly, after only three days I was homesick for Germany — I could’ve cried with joy upon getting on the Deutsche Bahn bus back to Nürnberg because I could finally understand people again. (How anyone other than native speakers can speak Czech will forever be beyond my comprehension.) Since the list format is easiest on the eyes, here’s what I was up to:

- Went swing dancing at sunset to a live jazz band;
- Had an intellectual debate with a Scotsman in front of the high court building regarding the concept of justice;
- Saw some sort of surreal interpretation of Noah’s Ark (in which God was a woman, and purple) in front of a beautiful church. The fact that I couldn’t understand a word of it was entirely irrelevant.
- Visited pubs that one would never find unless you had someone to personally show you. “Salon” looked like a nobleman’s library (you should have seen the ornate fireplace!) but with cheap local beer. And the pub attached to the theater was great too.
- Saw the obligatory castle. Of course.
- Engaged in a little schwarzfahren (riding the trams and buses without a ticket), which made the journey far cheaper and faster. My newfound Slovenian and Croatian friends were kind enough to conceal me in the middle of their group, so the ticket collector never noticed me.
- Had some of the best food I’ve had in a while — multi-layered honey cake, deep fried cheese, surprisingly good coffee, some sort of pastrami with sauerkraut, and all were amazingly cheap.

Yesterday was my first day as an assistant instructor for the university’s beginning fencing class. To put it mildly I was extremely nervous, considering that I’m only at the B2/C1 level of German as a foreign language and I had to manage about 20 college kids who had never picked up a weapon before.

Fortunately they were incredibly patient with my often limited language skills (there was a lot of miming on my part, I must admit) and they all had a lot of fun. I always forget how awkward simply advancing and retreating is to newbies — I had to constantly correct a handful of students who for some bizarre reason thought that crossing their front legs in front of their back legs while in the en garde stance was a good idea. And at one point, a really petite girl was lunging so delicately that I advised her to put some power into her back leg; she responded by lunging so hard that she fell over. Thank goodness she had a sense of humor and could laugh it off! I tried to keep the atmosphere in my section as relaxed as possible — I want them to be laughing and having fun, because stress leads to stiffness and nervousness, which of course isn’t desirable on the strip. So instead of constantly saying “Straighten your back,” I say things such as “You’re a fencer now — be arrogant! Chin up, back straight!” which always makes them laugh. Or when they gallop while advancing (I still do that when crossing forward, ugh) I copy my own instructor here who says, “Don’t be a horse — be a tiger!” which I myself find a hilarious mental image. And these are simple sentence constructions, which certainly helps me.

The main instructor had them learn jumps, cross forwards, and cross backs on the first day as well, which personally I find a little too much at first, but hey, I’m just the hired help.

I’ll continue teaching until my exchange program is over in June. This’ll definitely be an interesting experience…

As will the tournaments in Goettingen and Salzburg next month.

Kudos to German longboarders — I would’ve broken my face long ago trying to longboard here in Marburg. The thought of forcing my 45-inch 12-ply maple cruising board with its itty bitty 65 mm wheels over these awful cobblestones makes me shudder, especially considering I can barely walk over them without tripping.

Anyway, enough longboard rambling. (I fear I’m going through longboard withdrawal.) This weekend I was in Berlin, and at the moment all I can say is that I needed at least a couple of weeks there, not a couple of days. It’s an incredible city — certainly not beautiful in the conventional sense of the word, but full of a certain atmosphere that I haven’t felt anywhere else. It’s known as a city of change, so perhaps that’s why I felt so attracted to it.

Pictures coming soon, I promise. The weather wasn’t ideal, but fortunately cathedrals look incredible in any atmospheric condition. We went to an Easter market (think a touristy Christmas Market sans glühwein), the Jewish Museum (absolutely incredible), wandered around Kreuzberg, saw several churches, had “Mexican” food for dinner, rode the U-Bahn without a pass because I accidentally threw mine away (Schwarzfahren, anyone?), got surrounded by beggars outside the Altes Museum…and it goes on and on. A very eventful few days. I can’t wait to go back in June.

On Thursday I’m leaving for Munich with a friend, and we’re staying with an adorable little family just outside the city. I’m unreasonably excited about this.

Also, last Wednesday when I offered to fence epee instead of my usual foil due to that evening’s lack of foilists, my coach started laughing hysterically at the mere thought of me as an epeeist. He seriously thought I was trying to be funny. Thanks, coach! Self esteem is totally overrated anyway. Nice timing, considering it was right before fencing Ulfried, who smashes through every parry I’ve ever tried against him. Very encouraging. I guess it’s time to work on my feint-disengages… 

…which my fencing club here decided to sign me up for without asking. Guys, I am going to make such a fool of myself—tournaments confuse me enough as is back in the US—but it is going to be awesome.

That region is absolutely beautiful, by the way. Check out the nearby Grenzlandmuseum if you’re interested in seeing part of the original fence between the BRD and DDR, it’s certainly worth the extra few kilometers.

A word of advice for anyone studying abroad: being friendly pays off. Don’t be afraid to look stupid when speaking, regardless of how well (or poorly) you know the language! This morning I started up a conversation with a student from my dorm at the bus stop, and by the time the bus arrived she invited to Kassel this weekend to check out the castle there. Seriously, people here in Marburg are the friendliest I’ve ever met — I can’t even keep track of all the contacts I’ve made just by practicing my German a bit at bus stops, cafes, etc.

Kassel, Frankfurt, Berlin, Munich, Dresden, Prague, Brno, and Hamburg are my upcoming trips, in that order. Trying to fit in a trip to London as well. And then once the semester’s over I’ll fly to Florida for a week or two on the way home.

I’m sorry, bank account. I’m so, so sorry.